Sunday, Funny Sunday: Part II – Give Us This Day Our Daily Bet

Note: This is part of a series.

…Continued from Part I

“Look at that chap!” said L3B, “He looks so much like the famous Big B!”

“Yeah man! He looks exactly like Amitabh,” Chica chirped excitedly.

“His hair is black and it’s cut the same way; he’s got a goatee too that is all grey!”

“Good observation Hatter, thanks for enlightening us blind folk,” said Wine Red Rose with sarcasm.

“You’re welcome!” the Hatter replied with a grunt then asked, “But who is that chick with him?”

“Don’t know man, but she looks pretty good to me,” said Jack, unaware of Jill’s green monster burning a hole in his back.

“You better take that back or say it was a joke, otherwise for a lifetime Jill won’t let you smoke!”

“Hatter may be right, Jack,” Jill said with a smirk, making Jack feel like a jerk.

As they all walked out onto the street, I thought of an idea that was neat. So, while he was lighting a smoke, I managed to get it across to the Hatter and a few seconds later he broke it to the others, interrupting their chatter. Smiling at them all, he proposed a bet that they would all enjoy and never forget.

“Who for 600 has the guts to go back in the pizzeria and give us a laugh by asking the Big B lookalike for an autograph?”

“Why don’t you do it, since it was your proposition?” asked Rose.

“I’m not that drunk,” he replied as he blew fumes from his nose.

Then out of the blues Jack said, “Fuck the money. I’ll do it if I get to smoke,” which was quite unusual of him so they thought it was a joke.

“No, I’m serious! If she lets me smoke, then I surely will,” said Jack while pointing at Jill.

“Okay! But you’ll get only one cigarette,” Jill replied with sternness that could kill.

I’m sure it wasn’t the nicotine-urge or the thrill of a minuscule adventure in facing the unknown that made Jack walk all the way back into the pizzeria, but rather to prove to them all, and especially Jill, that he could pull off this prank all alone without suffering an attack of diarrhoea.

So, they watched through the widow as he went to a waiter and borrowed a pen and a piece of paper. He then walked over to that particular table at which sat the Big B doppelganger and the chick whose beauty was such that I’d have loved to bang her. When Jack reached the table he started a conversation, not at all appearing nervous. The lookalike looked a bit surprised until he realised Jack’s visit’s purpose. The tête-à-tête lasted several seconds, at the most fifteen, after which the stranger took the paper and with the pen scribbled. This quarter minute episode was something Jack’s friends had never seen and so outside the pizza place with laughter they were tickled.

Seconds later, Jack emerged with the Big B lookalike’s autograph in hand onto the road; and his friends laughed and giggled, some guffawed and some roared.

“What happened in there?” Nez asked Jack while giving him a slap on the back.

“Well, I addressed him as ‘Amitabh Bachchan’ and asked him for an autograph. He seemed confused and said that I was mistaken,” replied Jack as we continued to laugh.

“Did he get pissed or did he start blushing? What was the reaction from the girl?” asked the Hatter while brushing off his forehead an unruly curl.

“Well he just seemed uncomfortable about the whole thing, while the chick just dived into her laptop pretending to be busy but surely embarrassed as well,” Jack laughed.

“But he gave you an autograph anyway, probably just to shoo you away,” said Hatter his sides in splits, while the others too were having fits.

“Well it was very impressive that I think you can smoke all you want now,” said Jill to Jack as she pecked his brow.

“He deserves to smoke all through the week,” said L3B as Jack kissed Jill back on the cheek.

Hatter gave Jack a cigarette and provided a light for the reward. Jack took a long drag… exhaled… then gave a smile that was broad.

“The best part about the whole conversation with that chap,” Jack told his friends, “was when he said, ‘No dude, you got the wrong guy. I’m not Amitabh Bachchan… I’m Laxman!’”

Everyone guffawed so loudly that they may have scared the pedestrians who passed. Their laughs were so loud that it could’ve been mistaken for a bomb blast.

“Well he wasn’t Amitabh Bachchan but he was Laxman! Should we drop his name now and then to get things done?” Hatter jokingly asked.

Jack joked back, “Probably clever kids repeat his name again and again before an exam… and when the results are out others wonder how they’ve passed!”

5:30 p.m.

They hailed two cabs and they got in, and drove to the nearest delicatessen.

…Continue to Part III

~ by Prick on February 13, 2009.